Worn||Coming of Age

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about aging. Living through a pandemic gives the saying “growing old isn’t guaranteed”, a certain poignancy I hadn’t considered. However, knowing what a gift growing old is doesn’t make it easier to accept. Being nearly 50 in a culture that is youth-obsessed is hard. And as much as I wouldn’t want to be 20, or even 30, for all of the money in the world, I can’t help constantly comparing myself to the images we’re inundated with on social media. I find myself checking the mirror daily for a wrinkle that wasn’t there the day before. Being discouraged because I now have to work out twice as hard to get half the results that used to happen with very little effort. Even my eyebrows are sprouting gray hair. It’s honestly rude at this point! I vacillate between feeling like my life is over and wanting to do all of the things before I run out of time…or energy.

Worn|| Coming of Age

I remember my mom telling me that her 30s were the decade she had the most fun, her 40s were the decade that she really got to enjoy being a mom, and her 50s were the decade where she fully came into her own. I guess there’s something to the idea that once no one is checking for you(as the kids say!), you’re free to do exactly what you damn well, please. I’m working on shifting my focus from the things I feel have passed me by. Instead, choosing to pursue the things that I’m currently passionate about. When I think about all that I’m capable of I’m excited to step into the next decade.

School Dazed || 3 Quick Looks For Every Day

Let me preface this post by saying that as parents, especially moms, we are all doing the very best we can! I’m not posting this to shame anyone or to say you should dress a certain way. Getting kids up and out of the house every day can be as tough as climbing Kilimanjaro. I know first hand that sometimes all I can manage is to throw a sweater over whatever I slept in and pull on the pair of leggings at the top of the laundry basket! However, I’ve found that having a game plan/an idea of a few things I can throw and feel good about myself is an enormous help when I’m running on autopilot.

Like most parents, the start of school is a welcome relief from being the 24/7 entertainment director for my 5-year-old. Of course, this means we have to be up, out and look fairly presentable far earlier than we’ve grown used to.

Here are three easy ways to look low key pulled together when you’d rather be wearing pajamas.

This outfit is all about elevated basics. We all have leggings and sweatshirts that we most likely live in. This look uses the faux leather texture of the leggings and the graphics on the sweatshirt to take it up a notch. The leopard scarf says I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch.

This a look we all have. A favorite cardigan, a t shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. Boom! Out the door in 15 minutes.

I’ve been adding graphic t-shirts to my closet this summer with the sole intention of wearing them with something other than leggings. Here my favorite distressed jeans and a thrifted Minnie Mouse t-shirt feel a little more dressed up when I wear them with a timeless cropped trench coat and sparkly flats!

Nothing here is fussy or overdone. It’s all comfy enough to keep up with my kid. None of it is groundbreaking or edgy. But all of it makes me like I’ve got my shit together…even when that’s not even close to being true!

You Say It's Your Birthday!

Hey, girl, hey!! 

Today you turn 45. I'm sure you're supposed to have feelings about it but you don't. Or should I say, you don't have any feelings about it that you've been able to fully process? I do know that saying it out loud seems heavy, substantial. It feels like everything should be different but it's unremarkable in its sameness. At some point, you'll sit down and have a proper cry and mild existential crisis as GenXers are prone to do. I know you thought you would have conquered the world by now but these days you count any day you wear actual pants and finish your coffee before it needs to be reheated as a win. And, that's ok. Life may not be as grand as you dreamed it to be as 10-year-old, but it's a hell of a lot better than you ever imagined it would be as that wounded and fragile 25-year-old. Remembering that girl we used to be hurts my heart.

But, you put yourself back together, baby girl.  You are learning to love yourself. You fell in love and got married. You watched your children grow into pretty kick ass adults. You had your miracle baby and survived PPD. You embraced your new life with a new baby and like most of the time, you fucking rocked it! You became a grandmother! Fuck! Girl, I know. But that baby has changed you in ways you never thought she would. Basically, your life can be summed up by one of those cliche graphic t-shirts at Target. And, guess what? You are perfectly happy with it! 

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Your first 45 years have been pretty great! I can't wait to see what you do next!  And, to quote the great American philosopher, RuPaul, "if you don't love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else!" 

xoxo

PS-

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Everyday Magic

Here's the thing about memories, often the best ones, the ones that stick with us throughout our lifetime, are the little moments that inject a tiny bit of magic in our everyday lives.

The combination of potty training and the first blast of arctic air has had us stuck in the house for a few days too many.  And, I think we both had a touch of cabin fever. After more episodes of Paw Patrol than I care to admit, I remembered we had some cookie dough mix and decided it would be a fun way to kill an hour! 

It wasn't a Pinterest perfect craft. It wasn't even made from scratch. We're both still in our pj's and rocking epic bedhead. But, a week later he still lights up talking about how we made cookies! 

We never know what little kernels of childhood our kids will hold onto as memories. But, I hope he remembers that sunny December morning, singing Christmas songs, dancing in the kitchen,  and making cookies!