Revelation and Revolution

I’m writing this on a gray and rainy day. It's safe to say that fall is here. I was ready for cool, rainy days where I could make tea and settle in with a good book, but now that they’re here, I’m having second thoughts.

These days I’m seeking joy in the little things- favorite places in the city, listening to Purple Rain on vinyl, and fancy shoes on a weekday just because. With the shift from fall to winter and the familiar replaced by uncertainty, I think it's important for everyone to find little joys and bright spots.  


I’m not suggesting we ignore everything happening around us or walk around in a “good vibes only” state of toxic positivity. I’m suggesting that finding joy and celebrating little things is keeping some of your power when many of us feel helpless—a revolution of one to disrupt the status quo.

Vive la révolution

Worn|| She's Overboard and Self-Assured

Confession time.

I was never the grungy, edgy teen with heavy eyeliner and a fuck the establishment attitude. I was much more United Colors of Benetton, Polo popped collar kind of girl who attempted to charm authority. 

Now that I’ve hit 50, aka the land my ‘give a fucks’ went to die, the brooding, angsty in me has been dying to express herself.

That’s the beauty of middle age…the power to reinvent yourself and not a single worry given to what anyone has to say about it. Quoting the wise Sheree Whitfield, "Who gon' check me, boo?"

Because I never had a pair of Doc Martins as a teen, I decided I needed a pair or something similar. I stumbled on this pair in near-perfect condition and in my size for $10 during a recent trip to the thrift store. The rest of the outfit seemed obvious. Nothing says “smells like teen spirit” like fishnets and combat boots.  

boots: similar shorts: similar shirt: similar tights: here

Chapter 51...

Half a century plus 1. I’m not sure I like how it sounds when written out that way. Last year was a milestone birthday. I had a party. I got to celebrate with the people I adore most in this world. The dress I wore was amazing, it made me feel like a cupcake and look like a million bucks.

I set the bar pretty high for this year’s birthday and if I’m being honest, it’s just not hittin the same way. But it’s nothing a dress, a pair of heels, and a slice of birthday cake can’t fix.

Here’s to another rotation around the sun, to embracing the person you’ve worked so hard to be, to loving yourself as much as you love everyone else in your life, to growing old with the person who gets you, to impractical shoes, cupcake dresses, funfetti birthday cake, and prosecco!

Cheers!

Worn|| This Ain't Texas

Imagine being gifted a musical tour de force like Cowboy Carter and being so caught up in your expectations of who and what country music is supposed to be that you deny yourself a sublime listening experience. Couldn’t be me …

I’m not saying that Cowboy Carter has become my entire personality but when you see me out in cutoffs and cowboy boots don’t say I didn’t warn you!

And, We're Back...

Oh, hey! Long time no blog. I wondered if I'd ever fire this thing up again and despite the push towards short-form video content nothing grabs me like words on a page (or screen) and photos. I'm old-fashioned that way. 

Not much has changed in my life since my last post. I haven't been busy. Life isn't too challenging right now. There haven't been any unexpected plot twists. I've just been trying to stay present. Enjoying the moments as they happen. That small shift has been great for my mental health.




Anyway, here I am. A girl. Standing in front of a brick wall. Asking you to read this blog post and follow along as I attempt to navigate this new season of life.  




Worn || Ready or Not

I’m a week away from my 50th birthday and I have so many feelings about it; very few are good. I desperately want to be one of those people who celebrate their birthdays for the entire month but I can’t remember ever being happy about getting older.

Not to get all “therapy” speak, but I’m certain it’s because I rarely give myself permission to exist and enjoy the present. I’m either punishing myself for the past or anxiously trying to micromanage the future.

My goal for the week is to live in this moment. Enjoy the person I am right now. appreciating the life I have is so much more than I ever imagined it could be. 50 is on the horizon, ready or not.

dress here || bag here || shoes here || jacket vintage\thrifted || necklace here

Worn || Gingham Style

August is a weird month. Many people are focused on getting themselves or their kids ready to return to school, so there’s always a little hope that comes with fresh starts and new school supplies.

I have an August birthday and this month has always been about endings. The end of another trip around the sun. The end of those long sun-drenched days filled with possibility. So long summer romance. Goodbye to my golden summer tan.

I’m going to do everything I can to hold on to the last few glorious days of summer, embrace the sweetness of August and reflect on my last few weeks as a fortysomething.

Worn || Hi Barbie!

Saturday my daughter treated me to a movie. We got dressed up in our pink to see the Barbie movie. The movie and afternoon out with one of my girls were an unexpected delight.

There have been a million think pieces written about this movie. I don’t know if I have anything more to add to the conversation. It was funnier than I thought it would be while being unexpectedly deep. The final scene between Barbie and the creator of Barbie, Ruth Handler (played by the brilliant Rhea Perlman) is the one that made me sob and leave the theater with a tear-streaked face. It was beautifully shot. The set design was fantastic. The wardrobe department hit it out of the park. And, I didn’t think I could love Ryan Gossling more, then I saw him crying shirtless in a faux mink coat and a sweatband. The choreographed Kens dance/fight scene is worth the price of the ticket alone! Seriously, get all dolled up in your version of Barbie and go see it. Then grab a Barbie drink after to discuss how amazing it was.

Starbucks Vanilla Frappucino with Dragon Fruit

Find the skirt here ||the dress(worn as tank) here || the bag here

Similar shoes here || jacket here

Worn|| Yellow

Trigger warning: This post refers to an eating disorder and body image struggles. If these topics are difficult for you to read about, you may want to skip this post.

Be gentle with yourself. I’ll see you next time.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about body neutrality. As someone who suffered from an eating disorder for more than a decade and has had body dysmorphia and a really shit body image for my entire adult life, body positivity was close to impossible for me to wrap my brain around. However, body neutrality focuses on appreciating what your body can do instead of what it looks like. This approach may not work for everyone but it’s working for me.

In a move that feels very Goop/New Age/Boss Babe-like, I’ve started writing down a few body-neutral affirmations a week. I know that I’m essentially using affirmations as a rebuttal to all the negative self-talk in my head, but it still feels awkward, cultish, and more than a little cringe.

All of that aside, two of the affirmations I wrote down this week to focus on are:

  • I will accept the body that I have right now.

  • I deserve to wear clothes I like.

I have had this skirt for five years. I found it in a thrift store and had to buy it because sequins(obviously) and yellow is my favorite color. It’s been hanging in my closet for five years because it was too big when I bought it and I didn’t have a tailor I trusted enough to fix it for me. It’s now a perfect fit. This revelation is something that would have sent the old me into a spiral of depression and self-loathing.

But today I’m choosing to revel in the fact that the body I have right now is perfect for this skirt that I absolutely adore!

Nothing here is new. The skirt was thrifted five years ago, and the shirt was thrifted last year. The jacket and the shoes are older than my youngest kid. I still like each individual piece and collectively this outfit made me feel a little like my old self. It’s good to know that I haven’t buried the old too deep. She’s still in there somewhere!

Worn|| Cuff It

Having lived through the 1980s when mom jeans were simply called jeans because they were the only style available, I was sure that “mom jeans” was a trend I would avoid, especially since mom jeans aren’t always flattering to mom bodies.

::Dollhouse high-waisted jeans have entered the chat. ::

They are stretchy and comfortably hold in that annoying lower stomach pooch that has decided it’s here to stay. I love that I throw a wide cuff on them and they are the perfect length for almost any pair of shoes I decide to wear.

Speaking of shoes, I didn’t get these until late last summer so I didn’t get much wear out of them before it was boot season. However, I think they are my new favorites.

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