Worn|| Yellow

Trigger warning: This post refers to an eating disorder and body image struggles. If these topics are difficult for you to read about, you may want to skip this post.

Be gentle with yourself. I’ll see you next time.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about body neutrality. As someone who suffered from an eating disorder for more than a decade and has had body dysmorphia and a really shit body image for my entire adult life, body positivity was close to impossible for me to wrap my brain around. However, body neutrality focuses on appreciating what your body can do instead of what it looks like. This approach may not work for everyone but it’s working for me.

In a move that feels very Goop/New Age/Boss Babe-like, I’ve started writing down a few body-neutral affirmations a week. I know that I’m essentially using affirmations as a rebuttal to all the negative self-talk in my head, but it still feels awkward, cultish, and more than a little cringe.

All of that aside, two of the affirmations I wrote down this week to focus on are:

  • I will accept the body that I have right now.

  • I deserve to wear clothes I like.

I have had this skirt for five years. I found it in a thrift store and had to buy it because sequins(obviously) and yellow is my favorite color. It’s been hanging in my closet for five years because it was too big when I bought it and I didn’t have a tailor I trusted enough to fix it for me. It’s now a perfect fit. This revelation is something that would have sent the old me into a spiral of depression and self-loathing.

But today I’m choosing to revel in the fact that the body I have right now is perfect for this skirt that I absolutely adore!

Nothing here is new. The skirt was thrifted five years ago, and the shirt was thrifted last year. The jacket and the shoes are older than my youngest kid. I still like each individual piece and collectively this outfit made me feel a little like my old self. It’s good to know that I haven’t buried the old too deep. She’s still in there somewhere!

Generation Inspiration

I’ve had a pair of vegan leather- pleather for all the GenXers in the crowd- on my Pinterest board for a few years. I’ve had them in various online shopping carts for months. For whatever reason, I couldn’t click buy. Maybe it was the thrifting gods whispering “we got you” in my ear. But, a few months ago I went thrifting with my daughter, and there they were. The perfect size, exactly what I was looking for, and only 7.99.

I will confess that most days I wear a uniform that consists of leggings and a sweater. If I’m feeling fancy, I swap out the leggings for a pair of jeans. I’m trying to force myself out of this rut. What’s the point in buying things I love if I never wear them?

First, I styled them in the way I would most likely wear them- blouse, trench, and heels. Classic and appropriate for most occasions, although I would probably swap out the stilettos for something with a chunky heel if I was headed out for the day with my 8-year-old.

Then I got some fit inspo from the Tik Tok generation. This time I paired them with a chunky sweater, a hat, and my Air Force 1s. I gotta say the kids are alright because I really like this!

Worn||Coming of Age

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about aging. Living through a pandemic gives the saying “growing old isn’t guaranteed”, a certain poignancy I hadn’t considered. However, knowing what a gift growing old is doesn’t make it easier to accept. Being nearly 50 in a culture that is youth-obsessed is hard. And as much as I wouldn’t want to be 20, or even 30, for all of the money in the world, I can’t help constantly comparing myself to the images we’re inundated with on social media. I find myself checking the mirror daily for a wrinkle that wasn’t there the day before. Being discouraged because I now have to work out twice as hard to get half the results that used to happen with very little effort. Even my eyebrows are sprouting gray hair. It’s honestly rude at this point! I vacillate between feeling like my life is over and wanting to do all of the things before I run out of time…or energy.

Worn|| Coming of Age

I remember my mom telling me that her 30s were the decade she had the most fun, her 40s were the decade that she really got to enjoy being a mom, and her 50s were the decade where she fully came into her own. I guess there’s something to the idea that once no one is checking for you(as the kids say!), you’re free to do exactly what you damn well, please. I’m working on shifting my focus from the things I feel have passed me by. Instead, choosing to pursue the things that I’m currently passionate about. When I think about all that I’m capable of I’m excited to step into the next decade.

Worn || Nostalgia

I have to admit, I had these overalls in my cart for close to three months before I clicked purchase. The only thing I regret is waiting so long to buy them.

I’m not sure this is the most flattering item of clothing I own. Although, these days I’m defining “flattering” as more of a mantra than a strict rule of style. How can something that makes you feel playful and happy be unflattering? Here’s to remembering and honoring the 9-year-old me, spending a summer afternoon on a yellow bike named Marigold, coveralls, crooked ponytails, and unlaced sneakers before I knew or even cared about flattering or appropriate clothing.

And just in case you needed to hear it, buy the damn overalls!

nostalgia1.jpg
nostalgia2.jpg
nostalgia3.jpg

Overalls: https://amzn.to/3dYU5sp For reference I’m wearing a Medium. They shrank slightly after washing and drying

Chucks: https://amzn.to/3dWlbAl

Top: https://bit.ly/3xp9cTH

Worn || Happy

Sadness and grief make the world look different. Everything is the same but different. The world keeps moving. Life, as they say, goes on. The sun isn’t shining but the temperature is blessedly warm for a mid-western winter. So, I’m keeping things simple- a favorite sweater, jeans, sneakers and a coat from my mom.

happy3.jpg