Worn || Hi Barbie!

Saturday my daughter treated me to a movie. We got dressed up in our pink to see the Barbie movie. The movie and afternoon out with one of my girls were an unexpected delight.

There have been a million think pieces written about this movie. I don’t know if I have anything more to add to the conversation. It was funnier than I thought it would be while being unexpectedly deep. The final scene between Barbie and the creator of Barbie, Ruth Handler (played by the brilliant Rhea Perlman) is the one that made me sob and leave the theater with a tear-streaked face. It was beautifully shot. The set design was fantastic. The wardrobe department hit it out of the park. And, I didn’t think I could love Ryan Gossling more, then I saw him crying shirtless in a faux mink coat and a sweatband. The choreographed Kens dance/fight scene is worth the price of the ticket alone! Seriously, get all dolled up in your version of Barbie and go see it. Then grab a Barbie drink after to discuss how amazing it was.

Starbucks Vanilla Frappucino with Dragon Fruit

Find the skirt here ||the dress(worn as tank) here || the bag here

Similar shoes here || jacket here

Worn|| Yellow

Trigger warning: This post refers to an eating disorder and body image struggles. If these topics are difficult for you to read about, you may want to skip this post.

Be gentle with yourself. I’ll see you next time.

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about body neutrality. As someone who suffered from an eating disorder for more than a decade and has had body dysmorphia and a really shit body image for my entire adult life, body positivity was close to impossible for me to wrap my brain around. However, body neutrality focuses on appreciating what your body can do instead of what it looks like. This approach may not work for everyone but it’s working for me.

In a move that feels very Goop/New Age/Boss Babe-like, I’ve started writing down a few body-neutral affirmations a week. I know that I’m essentially using affirmations as a rebuttal to all the negative self-talk in my head, but it still feels awkward, cultish, and more than a little cringe.

All of that aside, two of the affirmations I wrote down this week to focus on are:

• I will accept the body that I have right now.

• I deserve to wear clothes I like.

I have had this skirt for five years. I found it in a thrift store and had to buy it because sequins(obviously) and yellow is my favorite color. It’s been hanging in my closet for five years because it was too big when I bought it and I didn’t have a tailor I trusted enough to fix it for me. It’s now a perfect fit. This revelation is something that would have sent the old me into a spiral of depression and self-loathing.

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But today I’m choosing to revel in the fact that the body I have right now is perfect for this skirt that I absolutely adore!

Nothing here is new. The skirt was thrifted five years ago, and the shirt was thrifted last year. The jacket and the shoes are older than my youngest kid. I still like each individual piece and collectively this outfit made me feel a little like my old self. It’s good to know that I haven’t buried the old too deep. She’s still in there somewhere!

Worn|| Cuff It

Having lived through the 1980s when mom jeans were simply called jeans because they were the only style available, I was sure that “mom jeans” was a trend I would avoid, especially since mom jeans aren’t always flattering to mom bodies.

::Dollhouse high-waisted jeans have entered the chat. ::

They are stretchy and comfortably hold in that annoying lower stomach pooch that has decided it’s here to stay. I love that I throw a wide cuff on them and they are the perfect length for almost any pair of shoes I decide to wear.

Speaking of shoes, I didn’t get these until late last summer so I didn’t get much wear out of them before it was boot season. However, I think they are my new favorites.

*This post contains affiliate links and I may earn a small commission if you click the link at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases if you choose to shop through my links.

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Jeans similar here Top here Shoes here Cardigan similar here

Worn|| Such a Slacker

My quest for more simple things to wear that aren’t leggings led me to The Dream Factory, aka, the thrift store. It really is the place where sartorial dreams come true. I have $100 Antrhopologie Dress that I bought for $7 and $10 sequin JCrew skirt to prove it.

Anyway, the goal of this specific trip was to find pants specifically slacks. Since I wanted them to have a baggier fit while still being tailored, I hit up the men’s department. I especially love shopping for pants in the men’s section because the fashion industry allows men to have an assortment of lengths for their pants and I don’t have to worry about getting them hemmed. I snagged these Hagar Collection men’s trousers for $5. I paired it with another thrift favorite, the vintage Ms. Pacman shirt that I bought at Goodwill for a whopping $1.50 on a half-off tag day.

Because no outfit lately feels complete without a pair of kicks, I’m wearing my Stan Smith Adidas. I used to spend my free time searching for and most of my paychecks buying a pair of killer high heels. I currently have five pairs of sneakers on my wish list. Life is weird like that.

Ms. PacMan Shirt similar here Trousers similar here Jean Jacket similar here Kate Spade Tote Stan Smith Adidas

*This post contains affiliate links and I may earn a small commission if you click the link at no additional cost to you. As an Amazon affiliate, I earn from qualifying purchases if you choose to shop through my links.

Worn|| Tulle the Point

If you had told me five years ago, I would be having another crisis of personal style because my days would be spent in comfy clothes that hide baby puke, I wouldn’t have believed you, yet, here we are.

When our daughter told us she was pregnant, I happily volunteered to watch our grandson during the day when she went back to work. I’m over the moon that I get to spend so much quality time with him. But just when I pulled myself out of a style rut that comes with being a stay-at-home to a young kiddo, my days are now spent taking care of the cutest 5-month-old ever. And that means comfortable and spit-up resistant. It also means that I relish the chance to dress up a little whenever possible.

Saturday we were lucky enough to help a friend celebrate his 5oth birthday. Is pink tulle kind of over the top? Absolutely. Did I wear it anyway? Also, absolutely.

I tried to tone it down by adding a puffer vest and sneakers. I like the way it turned out.

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Generation Inspiration

I’ve had a pair of vegan leather- pleather for all the GenXers in the crowd- on my Pinterest board for a few years. I’ve had them in various online shopping carts for months. For whatever reason, I couldn’t click buy. Maybe it was the thrifting gods whispering “we got you” in my ear. But, a few months ago I went thrifting with my daughter, and there they were. The perfect size, exactly what I was looking for, and only 7.99.

I will confess that most days I wear a uniform that consists of leggings and a sweater. If I’m feeling fancy, I swap out the leggings for a pair of jeans. I’m trying to force myself out of this rut. What’s the point in buying things I love if I never wear them?

First, I styled them in the way I would most likely wear them- blouse, trench, and heels. Classic and appropriate for most occasions, although I would probably swap out the stilettos for something with a chunky heel if I was headed out for the day with my 8-year-old.

Then I got some fit inspo from the Tik Tok generation. This time I paired them with a chunky sweater, a hat, and my Air Force 1s. I gotta say the kids are alright because I really like this!

Worn||Coming of Age

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about aging. Living through a pandemic gives the saying “growing old isn’t guaranteed”, a certain poignancy I hadn’t considered. However, knowing what a gift growing old is doesn’t make it easier to accept. Being nearly 50 in a culture that is youth-obsessed is hard. And as much as I wouldn’t want to be 20, or even 30, for all of the money in the world, I can’t help constantly comparing myself to the images we’re inundated with on social media. I find myself checking the mirror daily for a wrinkle that wasn’t there the day before. Being discouraged because I now have to work out twice as hard to get half the results that used to happen with very little effort. Even my eyebrows are sprouting gray hair. It’s honestly rude at this point! I vacillate between feeling like my life is over and wanting to do all of the things before I run out of time…or energy.

Worn|| Coming of Age

I remember my mom telling me that her 30s were the decade she had the most fun, her 40s were the decade that she really got to enjoy being a mom, and her 50s were the decade where she fully came into her own. I guess there’s something to the idea that once no one is checking for you(as the kids say!), you’re free to do exactly what you damn well, please. I’m working on shifting my focus from the things I feel have passed me by. Instead, choosing to pursue the things that I’m currently passionate about. When I think about all that I’m capable of I’m excited to step into the next decade.

Worn|| It's A Wrap

Summer is officially over. I’m not sorry to see the heat go but that doesn’t mean that I’m in a hurry to put away all of my favorite summer dresses and skirts.

I bought this skirt at a local shop and I haven’t given it much love until this summer. I consider it my good luck skirt since I was wearing it the day I ran into Leslie Odoms Jr (yes, that LOJ!) on a sidewalk in downtown Cincinnati, but for whatever reason, I hardly ever wore it until this summer. The lightweight silk skirt paired with a tank top or a plain white t-shirt was an easy way for me to look put together in 10 minutes.

Today I when I spied my husband’s shirt on the ironing board, I remembered how I used to be much more adventurous with mixing patterns and styles when getting dressed. And, honestly, wearing your partner’s shirt all day is a top-notch way to make you feel……you get the point. I’d go into more detail but our kids read these blog posts and I don’t want to gross them out! Anyway, his gingham button-down paired with this skirt and my favorite boots were perfect for an early fall day outfit.

Worn||A Well-Dressed Mess

Mother’s Day came and went this year without a post from me. It was the second one without my mom and in all honesty, I was unprepared for how hard it would hit me. Most of last year was spent in a haze of personal grief and collective mourning for all that we were losing almost daily. I was numb last year. This year I felt the weight of my own personal loss. Perhaps, I should say, I finally allowed myself to feel the weight of my loss.

Like lots of mothers and daughters, my mom and I had a complicated relationship. Sometimes we were so alike that most people would never notice how vast our differences were. And, I think I always believed those monumental differences meant that I would never be the daughter she was proud of. I always believed the times she voiced doubt about my choices or concern for the direction of my life it was judgment. I thought her interest in our commonalities was pressure for me to do those things the exact same way that she did. I never suspected that perhaps I was teaching her or that she was excited to see something she loved become something important to me.

I’ve been struggling in therapy a lot lately which is really how it goes. Every breakthrough is followed by a breakdown. Because growth can be as painful as it is powerful. Both awesome and terrifying. So, my therapist gave me homework. I had to write a letter to myself laying out all of the reasons why I’m not that broken person I was in my past. The girl I jokingly call, The Well Dressed Mess. The Bespoke Basketcase. The Fuck Up in the lovely Frock.

I won’t go into all the details I laid out in that letter but the one that is sticking with me and the one I’ve been unable to really say out loud is that I can’t be that old version of myself because I am my mother’s legacy.

In the few years before she died, we weren’t very close. Miscommunication and hurt feelings were at the root of it. But, I’d finally started to work past some of them. We started talking a little more. My visits weren’t so few and far between. Honestly, I thought we’d have more time. We didn’t. And I’ve carried so much guilt. Guilt that wouldn’t let me say that I miss her so much. Guilt that wouldn’t let me tell people how very much I loved her. And that guilt would never let me say that I can’t go back to being the well-dressed mess because it’s not who my mom raised me to be.

Whenever I was facing a conflict or a crisis, I could go to her. We’d have coffee and I would cry it out. She’d wipe my tears and rub my back. Saying, “I know….I know…it’s okay sweetie….” over and over until I was soothed. When I was ready to go back out into the world she’d give me a hug and whisper “give ‘em hell, Rae!” in my ear as I left.

So even when the fight to stay mentally healthy is incredibly difficult and all of the demons from my past are being kept at bay by the thinnest of razor wire, I will not be that person ever again because I’m starting to realize that I’m growing into the woman my mom always knew I was.

I’m still here mama, and I’m doing my damndest to give ‘em hell!

Worn || Nostalgia

I have to admit, I had these overalls in my cart for close to three months before I clicked purchase. The only thing I regret is waiting so long to buy them.

I’m not sure this is the most flattering item of clothing I own. Although, these days I’m defining “flattering” as more of a mantra than a strict rule of style. How can something that makes you feel playful and happy be unflattering? Here’s to remembering and honoring the 9-year-old me, spending a summer afternoon on a yellow bike named Marigold, coveralls, crooked ponytails, and unlaced sneakers before I knew or even cared about flattering or appropriate clothing.

And just in case you needed to hear it, buy the damn overalls!

Overalls: https://amzn.to/3dYU5sp For reference I’m wearing a Medium. They shrank slightly after washing and drying

Chucks: https://amzn.to/3dWlbAl

Top: https://bit.ly/3xp9cTH