october reading #SoGothtober

October 1, 2016 courtnee

hello, october! the season of ghosts and ghouls is upon us! here's a small confession-i'm not a fan of horror or halloween. it ranks as one of my least favorite holidays. i may have felt a little relief when my kids outgrew the need for costumes and what not.

all of my favorite booktubers have started posting their TBRs for the month and i'm finding there are so many great challenges on booktube for october! but, i wanted something that would encourage me to read, especially now that fall tv has occupied lots of my time! so, i decided to create my own challenge for the month!

i'm declaring this month southern gothic october or #SoGothtober. i've always loved books about the south and southern culture and this seemed perfect! southern gothic literature often has supernatural, magical or mystical elements. authors use these elements to shine light on or explore social issues. decay and the grotesque provide a vehicle for writers to reveal the unpleasantness that lies in the underbelly of southern gentility. this challenge is also giving me the opportunity reread some favorites and to read for the first time some of the genre defining classics.

here's what i'm reading this month!

the classics:
the heart is a lonely hunter by carson mccullers
wise blood by flannery o'conner

favorites that i'm rereading:
to kill a mockingbird by harper lee
the little friend by donna tartt

new southern gothic:
galveston by nic pizzolatto
my sunshine away by m.o. walsh
miss jane by brad watson

southern gothic true crime:
in cold blood by truman capote

slow {motherhood}

September 28, 2016 courtnee

sometimes i forget that it's okay to be still. i'm constantly thinking of places to take rowan, things we need to do, classes we should enroll him in. parenthood is a competitive sport these days and it takes an effort to resist the urge to follow the tide.

as he gets older, i'm loving that he's starting to enjoy "slower" activities- storytime in a quiet corner, building lego houses and arts and crafts!

last week, i broke out the paints and resisted the urge to direct to him. i loved seeing him use his fingers, sponges and brushes to create his own little masterpiece! we had a quiet and creative morning at home. and, it was good.

an ugly duckling transformation{oh my heart and home}

September 15, 2016 courtnee

i've been wanting to give our first floor a little makeover for a long time. but, anyone with a young child will tell you that household projects tend fall lower and lower on the list of priorities as you devote your time, attention, energy and money to your little one. it wasn't as if the house was falling down around us! it just looked a little tired.

my husband and i talked about it. well, i mostly talked and he sort of nodded in tepid agreement. i headed to pinterest to get inspiration. i came up with an idea of what i wanted and promptly shelved it. a few weeks ago, i decided enough was enough!

i tackled the most complicated project first. i've had this vintage loveseat for probably ten years. i was okay with color but my husband hated it! and, if i'm being totally honest the upholstery had seen better days.

the peachy orange color and the dark wood were very old fashioned, and not in a good way.

i knew i wanted to add color and personality to the living room. the best way to that is with pattern. and floral patterns are my jam. however, in order to sell my husband on the idea it couldn't be too over the top..

this fabric served as my inspiration!

after reading two dozen or so blog posts i felt confident enough to start. because the fabric was a little pricey, i decided to paint most of the upholstery and simply recover the seat. i wanted the color to be a a rich blue somewhere between navy and federal blue.

i used regular latex wall paint, water, and fabric medium(1:1:1). and then i got very nervous!

but, i kept going because i had no choice. i was also 99% sure i'd made a huge mistake!

there was also lots of swearing! i continued. and, because i'm a terrible blogger and i was sure this was going to be a pinterest fail, i didn't take more pictures. womp. womp. somehow, with lots of worry, elbow grease, several coats of paint and a battle with a heavy duty staple gun, it went from that ugly duckling.

to this...

and, i'm in love! i want to stare at her all day and tell her how beautiful i think she is!

slowly things are coming together! i can't wait to show you the entire room:)

fashion's front row{fall fashion}

September 10, 2016 courtnee

This post is sponsored by Everywhere Agency on behalf of Macy's;however, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

By the end of August I think most of us are ready to say goodbye to the long, hot and hazy days of summer. I'm so ready for fall in all of it's booted, layered and pumpkin spiced glory!

I've been in mom style mode. Essentially wearing what is easiest and most comfortable for everyday kid wrangling! Before I had Rowan I thought I would be able to maintain my sense of style and sense of self. Yeah. Not so much,

In the past few months my interest in fashion has been reignited. My own style has shifted and I'm actually starting to feel excited about getting dressed again.

There a few things I want to add to my fall wardrobe. I'm so excited to be attending the Macy's Fashion Front Row event at Easton Town Center! Saturday September 17, Macy's will be throwing the hottest shopping party of the season! Music, fun and fashion on a Saturday afternoon. Yes, please! You'll get to see the seasons latest trends and talk style with fashion insiders, Candace Read from LiveLoveandRead and Alexis Duffy and Alicia Ritchie of WanderandWhine. I'm especially excited to meet one of my favorite Project Runway All-Stars Alum, Asha Ama Daniels!

Did I mention the event is free?! Yaassss! Join me next week to get your fashion fix!

Macy's Fashion's Front Row
Macy's Easton Town Center
Saturday September 17
2 pm

Find more information on the event

a day in indy{family adventures}

September 1, 2016 courtnee

on my birthday we took a little drive to indianapolis. i've been to the children's museum there years ago with my other kids but this was the first time for rowan. he loved it! we could have spent the whole day in the dinosaur exhibit and playing with the trains and he would have been 100% satisfied!

i've only started going through the 400 pictures i took that day so i put together this little video of some of the highlights.

birthday girl

August 30, 2016 courtnee

a letter to my 13 yr old self on the occasion of turning 43.

happy birthday! today you are 43! i know. there was a time when you thought anyone over 30 was ancient but the older you get, the more fluid the old lady rubric appears to be..

i decided to talk to you, my precious 13 year old self, because this is the last age where you are the true you, in all of your awkward glory. sometime in the next year you will retreat to that place where teenage girls hide their light and become self conscious/hyper critical versions of the person they used to be.

not gonna lie, those years are TOUGH! you spend a lot of time hating yourself and feeling unworthy of anything. this means many of your choices will be driven by fear. the fear of success,the fear of failure, the fear of being loved, the fear of being authentic.

you will experience heartbreak and loss so profound that it causes you physical pain. you won't think recovering is possible. you'll doubt your ability to raise your kids as a single mom(spoiler alert: they are AMAZING!) you'll struggle with figuring what you want to do with rest of your life(spoiler alert: it's still a work in progress!) there are times when you remain wholly convinced that you will grow old alone(you don't!) and even with grief, loss, heartache and more bad decisions than i care to remember, you'll come to this point with very few real regrets.

because all of those missteps and questionable choices have created the person, the woman you are right now. you aren't the perfect friend, daughter, wife or mother but you do your best to be what they need. you are the person that offers clarity and insight. you are the person that can crack the right joke at the perfect to put everyone at ease. you aren't an artist but you recognize and appreciate artistry and beauty. you learn to love deeply and unconditionally. you see the best in others even when you struggle to see it in yourself. the place you will find yourself, the life you create for yourself is even better than your dream because it is real. it is tangible.

so, don't give up hope girl! life will reveal itself to be a weird, painful, f**ked up, amazing gift! and when you blow your candles out today the thing you will wish for is exactly what you have- family, friends, the love of your life and a pretty badass shoe collection;)

worn{thrifted}

August 24, 2016 courtnee

i've been hitting up the local thrift stores in search of a coffee table, bookcases and lamps to makeover in order to give our living room some much needed style. i haven't found anything i can use for that project but i have found some amazing things to add to my closet!

in the past, i've posted my love of american eagle jeans! they are a super stretchy and high waisted marvel of modern engineering. i've loved the artist flares but it's been too hot to think about jeans. i found a pair at the salvation army that fit like a dream! i also scored an anthropologie dress and a buttery soft leather handbag for a total of $10!

i think all of these items will work well as we transition from late summer into fall!

celebrating progress {motherhood}

August 9, 2016 courtnee

a while back i posted our concerns with rowan's speech development. we had him evaluated and were not shocked when we received the news that he had a speech delay. we started a little more than six months ago.

at the start of therapy, rowan had about a dozen words or sounds that we recognized as words for specific things(for example, "nana" is his word for milk).

like most child-rearing experiences, this process has been not what we anticipated it to be. we have a bright, healthy and curious little guy! our intial thoughts were that the therapist would come in, give some tips and advice. and with a little help, rowan would be talking in no time! yeah, nope.

at the start, it felt like we were making no progress at all! it was difficult to get him to stay engaged long enough to implement any of the strategies and techniques recommended to us. outings with him were a little stressful because he was all over the place!

We soon discovered that Rowan had some sensory issues. He is a sensory seeker. In the simplest terms, he needs lots of sensory stimulation-physical activity, touch, etc-in order to center himself enough to process the world around him. This factored heavily into the speech issues. We needed to really work on getting him centered and able to focus before we could even work on the speech aspect. Three or four months were spent trying to figure out what sensory stuff worked and what didn't. slowly we started seeing improvements. he sought out storytime. bringing book after book over to have me read to him. he would sit and build with his legos, play with his trains, and "talk" to his stuffed animals.

those gains were amazing! but, we still weren't seeing any improvement in his speech. we got into the habit of saying things over and over and over. emphasizing simple words. "up" "down" "on" "off" "eat" "go" "cup" and so on. initially, i felt a bit silly. but, the more i did it the more of a habit it became. our ST is always encouraging and reassuring. she seemed happy with his progress. while not adding any new words, he was becoming more verbal and making more complex sounds.

it's been a sometimes frustrating and incredibly humbling journey. we are doing all we can but this speech thing will happen when it happens. there isn't anything else we can except to continue the things we've been doing.

last week i posted this picture to instagram with the caption "it's all good until he realizes the buses are not coming home with us"

we were at story time in a local bookstore and the kids regularly enjoy playing with the toys. buses and trucks are his most favorite things on the planet and i was mentally preparing myself for the scene that would probably happen when he had to leave them behind.

we know ro has an excellent grasp of language but he gets really frustrated when he's unable to express or get us to understand his feelings. so, meltdowns are things that happen with regularity. also, he's two! i tried to prepare him by telling a few times that we were leaving soon and we needed to leave the buses for other kids to enjoy. and so, he played. made friends with another little kid and played some more. i set the timer on my phone to let him know we had to leave when it beeped. just before the timer went off he looked up at me and said, "bus". (it sounded more like ush. but i knew what he meant!)he repeated it several times! i started crying in the middle of the bookstore and trying to get my phone out so i could get it on video to send doug! this is the first new word he's added to his vocabulary since we started therapy!! he smiled and laughed! he was so pleased with himself.

he has worked hard for every sound and syllable. he's been so good-natured and sweet through countless evaluations and appointments. we are so proud of him! obviously, i bought the damn bus!

worn{07.13.16}

July 13, 2016 courtnee

early(ish) 40s is an odd age. it's very similar to those sometimes awkward tween years. i don't feel as old as the calendar likes to remind i am. i would rather spend a friday with a glass of wine and keith morrison (i'm a true crime addict!) than going out because no pants are the best pants! however, i'm blessedly old enough that i give zero damns about the judgement of strangers.

women's bodies have always been heavily policed but once i hit 40 i noticed in spades. magazines and websites are constantly blasting us with what is appropriate- hair color, swimsuits, lipsticks, skirt lengths. i'm certain that these shorts would most likely put me on someone's worst dressed list. to some, they are probably scandalously short! but i love them! seriously, navy lace! what's not to love? and, most importantly, i felt good in this outfit! i'm excited to dress them up and wear them for a night out with my husband!

details: shorts-forever21 // top-anthropologie(old)similar here // sandals-similar here

shake it up {heart and home}

July 7, 2016 courtnee

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SoHoppinGood #TopYourSummer #CollectiveBias

Over the last week, the heat and humidity have been unrelenting! There isn't much you can do but wait it out! It should come as no surprise that on a recent Wal-Mart run I found myself headed directly to the freezer section. In a stroke of genius, I decided that homemade milkshakes were the perfect way for us to cool off in this July heat.

Blue Bunny®Bunny Tracks®has long been a favorite. The new clear packaging makes all of that caramel and chocolate goodness irresistible! Nope. Regular old milkshakes weren't going to get the job done when I could use Blue Bunny®Bunny Tracks®! I decided to pick up some Smucker's Caramel Spoonable Ice Cream Topping to make it extra indulgent!

You guys...the resulting creation was the perfect way to end a hazy, hot and humid summer day! It's not a traditional shake. It's part milkshake, part sundae and it's A-Mazing!! Blue Bunny®Bunny Tracks® blended with milk, a drizzle of Smucker's Caramel Spoonable Ice Cream Topping and the final touch...roasted homemade marshmallows!! OHMYGOODNESS!!! It's perfect! I'm not sure what took me so long to stumble on this yummy treat but now that it's in my life, there is no going back!