motherhood{making it work}

i've finally admitted to myself that the lack of structure in our day is making my life much harder than it needs to be.  i like to think that i'm a fairly spontaneous person but if i'm being really honest options tend to overwhelm me. i like routine. 

last week was one of the hardest parenting weeks i've had in long time. rowan is almost 19 months and is pushing boundaries like it's his job-which,technically it is. i was grumpy, impatient and stressed out!  longest week ever! i described it to one of my friends as a week of mondays!  i decided to sit down and make a schedule for our days. i've been a mom long enough to know that trying to stick to a minute to minute detailed schedule won't work for me. my goal is to provide an outline for our ideal days will look like and allow myself the flexibility to make changes when needed.  right now i spend a lot of time waiting for ro to go down for his nap and then scrambling during that time to check everything off of my to do list. it shouldn't come as a surprise that getting dressed with a toddler is extremely frustrating because he's into everything! we've already suffered burned fingertips when he grabbed my flat iron before i could stop him. getting up earlier sacrifices some sleep but also allows me to at least shower and do my hair without worrying about little hands getting into the cabinets, toilet, closets, etc 

we're going to test out this schedule for a few weeks and see how it works. 

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i've allowed myself time for exercise as well as two different times when i can get some chores done. after rowan goes down for the night i'll have some time to spend with my husband, tend to blogging or paperwhites&whimsy details  i'm hopeful that having some sort of schedule will give me the work/life balance that i desperately need! 

nesting{living room makeover}

you know how before you have a baby you say ridiculous things like, "i'm sure our living room will stay neat, organized, and kid friendly rather than kid focused" so many LOLS! 18 months into this new kid gig and our living room looks like romper room. and, i am ready to reclaim the space.

step 1 is moving some of rowan's activities up to his room. i'm attempting to add more structure to our days. i'd like to have morning unstructured play time in his room while using some living room storage for toddler busy boxes, craft supplies and books. 

before rowan's birthday party last march my husband painted our living and dining room(connected spaces)a very pretty pale gray and it did so much to lighten up everything! it had been a shade of green that made the  room seem really dark and heavy especially in the winter. pillows and lighter curtains brightened things up even more. as of now our living room is perfectly adequate but i don't think it feels like us.

since my husband prefers visuals when we're discussing changing anything i put together this mood board to lay out the master plan.

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i've been looking for a velvet tufted sofa. i have a vintage settee in the basement that i considered having reupholstered but it's a bit too small for the living room. i've been a fan of bob and cortney novogratz since their design show aired on bravo. i kept seeing this sofa pop up on their facebook page but i never clicked on link because i assumed it would be $$$$. i finally went in search of it and discovered that the novogratz9 vintage tufted sofa sleeper is selling at wal-mart! yes, that wal-mart and it costs less than $350. seriously! i've read through all of the reviews and the quality appears to be excellent for the price. 

with that, the rest of the room came together quickly. i'd love two modern chairs to balance out the traditional look of the sofa. we have a really nice hutch in our basement. it's currently bright white which is lovely but i'd like to paint it either pink or green. the most difficult thing in my search has been a pair curtains in a bright floral pattern  to tie everything together. i'm excited to see how it all comes together!      

bookshelf {october}

there's a slight chill in the air.the leaves are beginning to change. the days are getting shorter. pumpkin spice is everywhere! it's officially fall and it's the perfect time to grab a book, a mug of tea, coffee, hot chocolate....burboun(no judgement!) and sit in a cozy nook and read.

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i'm reading these three among others. 

house of thieves by charles belfoure

the cruelest month by louise penny

the unchangeable spots of leopards by kristopher jansma

the cruelest month is the third book in a series by louise penny which features chief inspector gamache. i'm really enjoying this series. they focus on a small town, three pines, in a canadian province. the characters are interesting and the mysteries are thoughtfully plotted and unfold slowly. they're kind of a throwback to agatha christie novels. a welcome change of pace to the graphic thrillers that occupy the bestseller list.     

i'm several chapters into the unchangeable spots of leopards. i really, really like it! it's the kind of book that i usually want to read in one sitting but i'm forcing myself to read at a slower pace to take in all the little details.

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what's on your reading list this month?

worn{10.7}

i've really been taking the idea of building a conscious closet and the concept of a capsule wardrobe to heart. i'm slowly making my way through my closet. purging as i go. to be completely honest i'm at my heaviest non pregnant weight and it's tough. my self esteem has taken a huge hit so the thought of clearing my closet of all of the beautiful things that not only no longer suit my lifestyle but are several sizes too small is a bitter pill to swallow!

but, life moves on. i don't want to miss out on making memories with Rowan or going out with my husband because i feel like i have nothing to wear or i look terrible in the things i do have. the past few months i've been shopping and thrifting. putting together a fall wardrobe that is not only functional but also makes me feel good when i go out. 

i made a drastic change when i colored my hair gray! the new color has also affected my style choices. i've been drawn to a more subdued color palette{gray,navy,army green,black}  as well as more modern and sporty styles. i feel like my past affinity for embellishment and frill would age me a little and compete with the gray. instead of the "wow" pieces i've been searching for basics in nice fabrics with interesting details. also, i thrifted these jeans for $1.95 !!WHAT!!

these days my errand running style is more sporty spice than lady beckham and i'm actually ok with it.  

family{pumpkin patch}

friday we bundled up and set out for the pumpkin farm, blooms and berries. 

last year rowan was just a few months old so the pumpkin picking excursion was definitely for us. but, oh what a difference a year makes! it was so much fun to watch him run around taking everything in.

he could have spent all day with the goats. they came over and licked his fingers which sent him into a fit of giggles. there were also a few tears when he realized they couldn't come home with us. somehow two urban suburbanites have a little one that is an outdoorsy animal lover! 

dad braved the slide. it's kind of hard to say no to that little face.

i highly recommend this for families with little ones. there is a great age/size appropriate straw maze and the adorable cow ride. there are picnic tables so it's possible to pack a lunch if you'd like. unfortunately it started to rain so we had to leave before we had a chance to take the hayride. they also have a little market on site where apples, caramel apples, cider etc can be purchased. pumpkins(of course!)and fall flowers are also available. adults are $7 kids under 2 are free

strawberry muffins{oh my heart eats}

while strawberry season is technically over i can't seem to quit them! they are without a doubt my favoarite fruit and i love that they can go sweet or savory.

i like to cook but the precise nature of baking intimidates me. i'm determined to change that! i decided to make some strawberry muffins. muffins are kind of fool proof...right?

 they were pretty simple to make, even for a novice baker. they were prepped, baked and cooled before the end of rowan's nap. and the verdict-delicious!

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find the recipe here

motherhood{things i learned from my toddler}

having a toddler in the house is sometimes like living with yoda. they're tiny, odd and teach you lessons you never knew you needed to learn. the force is strong with these tiny humans! here are some of the life lessons i've picked up from master rowan.

1. enjoy the process- we're big fans of self directed play around here. i love sit and watch him. he'll dump out a bin of blocks and put them all back in. sometimes he'll leave them out and build with them. sometimes he'll have them interact with other things. sometimes he's very content to dump them out and put them back over and over and over. is he learning a lesson? trying to figure out the most efficient way to do it? or how high he can stack before the lid refuses to snap shut? perhaps. or maybe there is something soothing to the rhythm of repetition. i'm not sure what it is but he talks and giggles to himself as if he's enjoying whatever it is. 

2. one meltdown won't stop the show- i'm not really great in dealing with disruptions to my schedule. it will throw my entire day off kilter leaving me feeling out of sorts for the rest of the day. i find it difficult to pull myself out of the resulting funk which colors my interactions with people that day. if you've spent anytime with a toddler you already know that meltdowns and tiny frustrations are bound to happen. the great thing about them is once they're over, they're over. disappointments and frustrations disappear almost as quickly as they happen. trust me when i say that nothing will stop them from moving on. recognizing this in rowan as well as living on his schedule has loosened up the stickler in me. as the kids say #youmadornah    

3. confidence- i'm convinced toddlers are the most confident beings on the planet! climbing onto the table...mom, i got this. reaching the snacks on the table...mom, i got this. interacting with new kids on the playground...mom, i got this. dressing themselves in the most interesting way...mom, i can rock this. there is no task he won't attempt to do on his own. no food he's hesitant to try. no person he won't attempt to befriend. confidence is something we're born with. fear/self doubt/self consciousness are all learned.  

   when i started this motherhood gig i was so young and felt so inadequate and unprepared. i was so worried about getting it all right. it's not that i didn't think they had anything to teach me it's just that i was too afraid of losing control. it wasn't possible for me to absorb the lessons. i love that having rowan has changed me so much in such a short amount of time.

bookshelf {september}

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one of my goals this year is to read more and internet less. the less internet-ing thing is a work in progress but i'm making a decent dent in my reading list. 

i finished dear daughter by elizabeth little last night. i enjoyed it despite the main character's celebutante like persona. the mystery is engaging and there were a bunch of twists up until the very end. 

i've also fallen down the podcast rabbit hole which are perfect to listen to while i'm hanging out with rowan. one of my new favorites is all the books. it's expanded my reading list exponentially. i read a lot of the same kinds of books-thrillers,mysteries and a little non-fiction. thanks this podcast i've added a few different genres-historical fiction, short story compilations and fantasy, to my list. i'm excited to jump into some their recommendations. 

my reading goal is 40 books this year. in the past i've read a two books a week but lately reading comes in at the bottom of my list of priorities. goodreads has informed me that i'm 4 books behind! i'm forcing myself to finish these books before i'm allowed to add any new ones to my list. up next a window opens by elisabeth egan. the little blurb on goodreads compares it to where did you go bernadette which i HATED and the storied life of aj fikry which i LOVED. i'm about 60 pages in and i'm not sure where on the spectrum it's going to land.

is there anything you're excited to add to your must read list?    

family{saturdays at the park}

it shouldn't come as a shocker to anyone that i prefer to be curled up on the sofa with a cup of coffee and a book. my list of favorite things to do include reading, watching movies and filling up various online shopping carts and figuring out the amount of an inheritance needed to purchase everything. it also includes things like brunching, lunching and cocktailing. are you spotting the trend? 

these activities are not necessarily child centric. a long wait with a curious and cranky little one made our last attempt to brunch a little stressful and the total opposite of sunday funday.  this is how i found myself on one of the hottest weekends all summer at the park with two of my favorite guys!

how could i say no and stay inside to that face?! we've been to glenwood gardens several times(fun fact-we had our wedding photos taken in glenwood gardens) but we'd never been in the children's garden area. this 12 acre section of the park is beautiful and so much fun for the kids to explore. i think this kid is determined to make me nature lover because i'm almost positive i told my husband we should pack a picnic and visit again in a few weeks!    

worn 8.18

while i've always loved clothes i've never been one of those people that worried too much about what to wear. thanks to a mom that has her own fearless sense of style i learned early that clothing was a fun way to express myself and i pretty much wore whatever i wanted. that's not to say i had a ton of self confidence because i didn't. i just always figured there were so many other reasons that people would dislike me and how i was dressed didn't even crack the top 5.

now, with a post baby body and a job that has me either chasing a super active toddler or cleaning buckets and hauling flowers i'm completely stumped by my wardrobe. dresses and heels used to be something i wore everyday. i'm not saying those things never make an appearance-they do-but for the most part i'm about 1000% more casual than i used to be.

this outfit is not something that would have ever seen the light of day a few years ago. other than the fact that i felt put together in a not trying too hard kind of way there isn't anything special about it. i'm wearing pieces that are now a requirement for everyday life. i have to be able to move easily, i don't have time to worry about staining(toddlers are a messy bunch!), it's long enough to cover what needs covering and it still looks decent if i'm wearing my kid in his sling. baby wearers hollaaaa!! 

also, i'm obsessed with this kimono! i want to wear it with everything! if you told me 25 years ago that i would be wearing birkenstocks or in my case "faux-kenstocks" i would have told you and that cloud of patchouli you rode in on to shut it! so to all of those hippies who hung out on short vine that i mocked in my snotty prep school way, my sincerest apologies. these shoes are comfy as hell and they're shiny. my favorite combination.

tshirt+kimono-forever21|| shorts-old navy|| sandals-target