Self care is a word that is being thrown a lot lately. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what it means for me. Here’s what I’ve discovered. Self care is less about pampering and more about doing things that nurture my creativity. As of late that has included lots more reading, listening to music and journaling. I’ve never been huge into journaling for the same reasons I sometimes find therapy difficult, confronting what I’m feeling is really freaking hard! Emotionally, the last few years have been brutal and my survival has been partially due to my ability shut off a lot of what I’m feeling.

I recognize that it’s not healthy. Perhaps more importantly, it’s also not how I want move through the world. So I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and writing. I’ve also started to do little bit of creative journaling. I’m not an artist in any way, shape, or form so collaging and scrapbooking makes me feel artistic. It’s also been a great coping mechanism in the last few months.

I took this photo on a hike a few weeks ago. Like many survivors of sexual assault and trauma, watching the Kavaungh hearing and the testimony of Dr Blasey-Ford was deeply triggering. My husband suggested a hike as a way to unplug for a bit. I snapped this photo as we were crossing the creek. I knew that I wanted to include it in my notebook as a reminder not only of how far I’ve come but also to give myself permission to bend or even break if I need to. It’s ok to have your shit together and rock at life. But, it’s ok if you’re not. It’s ok if you are getting through the day out of habit. It’s ok to not be ok.

And just in case you need to hear it today, I see you. I hear you. I believe you.