Going Gray is a series I’ve been wanting to start in order to process my feelings about aging. I hope it’s a place where I can foster dialogue and have honest conversations about my own fears and share observations about what it feels like to age in a society that focused on youthfulness.
At the beginning of the year I shared my word of the year, LIGHT, and my thoughts about what it meant to me and how I was hoping to implement it. And, in a lot of ways, I’m happy with how this year has unfolded using it as a point of reference. I knew at the beginning of the year that I needed to apply not only to my emotional and mental health but I really needed to use it to tackle my physical health too. But, there are things I’ve been avoiding unpacking because it’s hard. And so, I put off addressing health concerns and my body issues.
Many of my own issues with my body are entrenched not so much in getting old but in looking old! For most us, as we age we tend to get a bit softer and perhaps a size or two bigger. I have spent the better part of the year hating how my body looks and attempting the “perfect” diet. And, it always fails. I beat myself up and promise that the next time I’ll succeed. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Last month I finally took the time sit with my thoughts about my body. Why do I feel the way I feel? But more importantly, what was I trying to accomplish? And I journaled about it a lot. It finally dawned on me that as much as I want to have my old body back, I wanted to feel the way I felt in that body. I wanted to feel at ease with myself and physically capable which is light years away from how I feel right now. Then I started to dissect what was happening in my life at that time. And I discovered, I was treating myself with kindness. I was eating clean without denying myself things I enjoyed. I loved my body enough to challenge it to be better. And so, here we are. The end goal for me is better health and I’m hoping that will help me as sail into middle age. The key for me is making small changes in order to maintain a sustainable shift in my lifestyle.
At the beginning of the month I decided to go fully vegetarian with the goal of eliminating most animal products(except cheese! Vegan cheese is sad and you can’t convince me otherwise) from my diet. It’s been easier than I anticipated. I’ve been inspired to cook more and listen to my body. I love carbs and eliminating animal protein is frightening for me because I could easily resort to eating creamy pasta for every meal. So, I’m making a concentrated effort to eat a healthy and balanced vegetarian diet replacing meat with things like mushrooms, beans and lentils.
We’re almost at the end of the first month and I can honestly say that I don’t miss meat. I do, however, miss the prospect of seafood. The healthier I eat, the less I crave things that I used to crave daily! Funny how that works. I’m not sure if I’ve lost any weight because I’m sure getting on a scale right now would sabotage my progress. I’m changing the definition of success in this area of my life looks like. And it seems to be working. Did you embark on any changes to your diet, health or fitness this year?
