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Sadness and grief make the world look different. Everything is the same but different. The world keeps moving. Life, as they say, goes on. The sun isn’t shining but the temperature is blessedly warm for a mid-western winter. So, I’m keeping things simple- a favorite sweater, jeans, sneakers and a coat from my mom.
This year I’ve happily rediscovered my interest in fashion and personal style. My focus has been on finding things in my closet that I already love and wearing them in a way that works with my much more laid back life. I’ve also taken a hard look at consumerism and fast fashion. I haven’t been compelled to shop the way I used to and most of my clothes are thrifted. The other day I was hanging out in Target, as you do, and I saw plenty of things I liked. But, I didn’t see anything I loved enough to buy. That’s huge for me! And while I’m moving more in the direction of curating a closet of wearable items that reflect my personal style and make me feel great, I knew that a capsule wardrobe wasn’t for me. I could never figure out a way to pare down my wardrobe while at the same time having enough variety to keep it interesting. For a lot of people, clothing is purely utilitarian but a lot of times it’s a way I can express myself creatively. Then, I discovered the idea of style archetypes or wardrobe moods while scrolling through Reddit one sleepless night.
Style archetypes…this is an idea I can get into! I’m concentrating on developing my archetypes. My first one is Urban Academic. For this category, I focus on classic pieces while styling them in a slightly edgier way.
My style muses for this category are Tracee Ellis Ross, Yara Shahidi, Jenna Lyons, Rashida Jones and Sarah Jessica Parker. All of these women serve up street style in a wearable way that I love.
Feeling inspired here are a few looks I pulled together. Nothing here is new. Once again I looked at things I already owned with an open mind and created pairings that feel fresh to me.
One of my favorite things this year has been rediscovering my love of clothes and trying to figure out what I still love and what no longer works in terms of style. There have been hits, a few misses and a couple of “WTF was I thinking” moments. And while I still haven’t figured it all out, I’m getting clearer about it.
For instance, this skirt. It’s actually a dress. I bought because I love the color and the hemline. It’s 100% silk so it makes the most magnificent swish when I walk! I wore it exactly one time in the six or seven years I’ve had it. It has a halter neckline which I never liked and it does something weird to my chest. But, I couldn’t get rid of it for some reason! I decided to fold the top down and use the ties from the halter as a belt. I immediately loved it. I managed to wear it a handful of times with t-shirts and tank tops over the summer. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that works really well in cooler temps. I tossed on an oversized sweater, paired it with Chucks, and was good to go for a day of running errands. I’m planning to have it turned into a proper skirt with a waistband and a zipper but until then I’ll continue to wear it as is. If there’s something you love in your closet that hasn’t work for whatever reason, look at it in a different way. You may discover a new way to wear it or style it and fall in love with it again!
Let me preface this post by saying that as parents, especially moms, we are all doing the very best we can! I’m not posting this to shame anyone or to say you should dress a certain way. Getting kids up and out of the house every day can be as tough as climbing Kilimanjaro. I know first hand that sometimes all I can manage is to throw a sweater over whatever I slept in and pull on the pair of leggings at the top of the laundry basket! However, I’ve found that having a game plan/an idea of a few things I can throw and feel good about myself is an enormous help when I’m running on autopilot.
Like most parents, the start of school is a welcome relief from being the 24/7 entertainment director for my 5-year-old. Of course, this means we have to be up, out and look fairly presentable far earlier than we’ve grown used to.
Here are three easy ways to look low key pulled together when you’d rather be wearing pajamas.
This outfit is all about elevated basics. We all have leggings and sweatshirts that we most likely live in. This look uses the faux leather texture of the leggings and the graphics on the sweatshirt to take it up a notch. The leopard scarf says I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch.
This a look we all have. A favorite cardigan, a t shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. Boom! Out the door in 15 minutes.
I’ve been adding graphic t-shirts to my closet this summer with the sole intention of wearing them with something other than leggings. Here my favorite distressed jeans and a thrifted Minnie Mouse t-shirt feel a little more dressed up when I wear them with a timeless cropped trench coat and sparkly flats!
Nothing here is fussy or overdone. It’s all comfy enough to keep up with my kid. None of it is groundbreaking or edgy. But all of it makes me like I’ve got my shit together…even when that’s not even close to being true!
Yesterday I turned 46. Birthdays have always been a weird thing for me. Always. Even as a kid they weren’t really my jam. I often spend the entire month of August depressed and panicking about how my life is flying by and none of the things I thought I would be or do have happened. This year I was determined to embrace it. If I’m being completely transparent, it was hard. This month was intense. But, this year instead of bottling all of that anxiety inside I talked about. I shared my fears with my friends and my husband. I was honest with myself about my feelings. I made plans to go out with my best friends to celebrate and they held me to it. So I pulled on my party dress, dug out a pair of heels, spent a ridiculous amount of time putting on false lashes and lived my best birthday life!
Happy birthday Courtnee! This year you’ve grown in ways you didn’t think were possible. You are closer to your purpose. You’ve embraced your commitment to rediscovering the lightness in your own life. You’ve challenged yourself to do things that terrify you in spite of your anxiety. You’ve deepened your connections to your village. You’ve loved and laughed. You have been more unapologetically you this year than you’ve ever been. You work everyday on loving who you are right now. Here’s to another year of growth, love and self discovery.
In the last year I’ve shifted most of wardrobe from brand new/fast fashion to thrifted and second hand clothing. I’d like to say that it was completely intentional. However, it was much more of a subtle and subconscious thing driven mostly by my desire to have clothes that fit a heavier me without spending too much money. I keep promising myself that I will shed the weight- and that’s an entirely different and upcoming post.
Thrifting satisfies that need for immediate gratification but it’s also very hit or miss. A few weeks ago, my friend, Jessy introduced me to ThredUp. I’d browsed the site before but was seriously overwhelmed and not really sure how it worked. Seeing all of her amazing fashion finds made me determined to figure it out!
My husband and I have birthdays at the end of the month which means at least one proper grownup night out. I used to buy myself a pretty dress every year for my birthday but I haven’t done that since before I turned 40. Seriously, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I treated myself to a “pretty, possibly impractical, serving no other purpose than it makes me insanely happy” dress! Time to fix that. So, I searched ThredUp for a birthday dress and I ended up buying 6…for less than $100!!
This didn’t make the cut for our birthday night out but it’s perfect for a casual look. I suspect I’ll dress up at some point with heels for a night out and boots for the fall. Today I paired it with my wedge high tops and arm full of bracelets to channel my inner Rainbow Johnson. Tracee Ellis Ross is one of my style icons as is her character, Rainbow, on Black-ish. I’m beyond thrilled I spotted this dress (new with tags!) and took a chance on it!
If you’d like to try ThredUp, this code will get you $10 off http://www.thredup.com/r/PYE4M9 This is a referral code. I will be compensated if you decide to use it.
I’m a stay at home mom. This means that most of my days feel like a repeat of the day before. In the haze that is created by those mundane little things set to repeat, I sometimes feel like I’ve lost me or at least the me I used to be. I know I’ve said it here so often that you’re tired of hearing it but part of my journey this year is figuring out exactly who am i am in this moment and learning to love her. And celebrate her.
In the last week or so, I’ve really been looking at lot of old images from pinterest and some of my old fashion magazines- remember them- thinking about style in general and my style specifically. I still haven’t figured out exactly what my style is anymore but this outfit has some small details that I’m always drawn to. Embroidery always makes my heart skip a beat and yellow is my forever favorite. The peep-toe heels with an ankle strap are old fashioned in the best possible way. Nothing here is new. This JCrew top and Kenzie shoes are probably 9 years old. I thrifted these jeans a year ago and while I loved the relaxed fit and the wash they were way too long to cuff. So yesterday, I hacked them off to the perfect ankle grazing length and distressed them. I'm kind of obsessed with them. This entire look made me happy as I went about my absolutely ordinary day. And sometimes, that’s all you need.
This is the face I make when I’m trying to explain to my 5 year old why I’m taking photos of myself and not him! Ha!!
Where my America’s Top Model fans?! Tyra, Ms. Jay and Mr. Jay snatched our collective edges in the early 2000s. And thanks to Al Gore’s internet, those first groundbreaking seasons are GIFS that keep giving!
The kiss of death was for the panel to declare the hopefuls “too catalog” or, Ana Wintour forbid, too commercial! One of my favorite scenes was for a swimsuit shoot. Tyra explains to the young wannabe that she has crossed a line into bad taste. They are models not centerfolds, damnit! It can be “ho but F A S H I O N”. That friends was not only epic television, it serves as my own little style mantra when getting dressed.
So when I decided to wear this cute little thrifted shirtdress instead of wearing Chucks and the cardigan I planned to wear, I thought “suburban housewife BUT FASHION!” I’m not sure if having a tiny trio of sartorial saints whisper in my ear is indicative of larger issues at play, but I’m fairly pleased with the results!
Jacket|| Forever 21
Shirtdress||(Old Navy) Thrifted
Sneakers||(Aldo) Thrifted
Belt|| Target
As of late, I’ve been really unsure of my style. Questioning what I like or whether I have any style at all. My mid 40’s has been a trippy time, my friends.
A lot of that uncertainty is tied to how I feel about my looks and body. And if I’m being 100 (as the kids say), most of the time it’s difficult for me to quiet that inner voice that screams about the weight I’ve gained in the last five years that refuses to budge, upper arms that never go uncovered, hips and thighs that are too wide and too thick, the double chin that I can’t contour away and on and on and on.
While I’m working on loving who I am right now. In this moment, In this body. I’ve tasked myself ridding my closet of anything that doesn’t make feel good when I put it on. As our favorite, new chaos coordinator, Marie Kondo would say, “does it spark joy?”
This simple look of things I’ve had for years and a new thrifted t-shirt did indeed spark a little bit of joy.
Have started Kondo-ing your wardrobe? Are you finding any old favorites or forgotten gems?
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Yesterday it was almost 60 degrees. Today it’s not quite 40. So I guess we’re going to do this long gray January thing! Sigh.
Lately, I’ve been craving all of the neutrals. And because I’m a maximalist at heart I pile them on with reckless abandon! There is nothing particularly extraordinary about this outfit. And, during the cold months jeans, a cute sweater and boots-and all of its variations-become my uniform. But, the thing I love most about this look in particular is that it’s the perfect example of mom style on a budget.
The boots are the only relatively expensive thing I’m wearing. They were $120 and are at least 5 years old. I’m fairly certain these were a pre Rowan purchase so that would put them at closer to 6! The chunky and relatively low heel make them manageable for wearing when I’m out with him. At this point the cost per wear is down to a few cents! The cardigan and the jeans were thrifted and totaled $10. I scored the blouse on the Tj Maxx clearance rack for about $6 and the scarf was left behind by one of my daughters when they moved out so it was F R E E!!
Mom-ing is hard! I’m certainly not going to tell any one of us how we should or shouldn’t dress on any given day. My kid is almost 5 and there are still days when managing a shower requires a plan as detailed as a scene in Mission:Impossible. We struggle with taking time for ourselves or spending money on ourselves. This year I’m really focusing on putting together a closet that not only makes me feel good when I can grab a few minutes for myself but is also priced so that when the inevitable peanut butter fingerprints end up on my top I’m not too freaked out about it!
Do you have a winter “uniform”? How has motherhood changed the way you approach getting dressed?
