Forty-Six

Yesterday I turned 46. Birthdays have always been a weird thing for me. Always. Even as a kid they weren’t really my jam. I often spend the entire month of August depressed and panicking about how my life is flying by and none of the things I thought I would be or do have happened. This year I was determined to embrace it. If I’m being completely transparent, it was hard. This month was intense. But, this year instead of bottling all of that anxiety inside I talked about. I shared my fears with my friends and my husband. I was honest with myself about my feelings. I made plans to go out with my best friends to celebrate and they held me to it. So I pulled on my party dress, dug out a pair of heels, spent a ridiculous amount of time putting on false lashes and lived my best birthday life!

Happy birthday Courtnee! This year you’ve grown in ways you didn’t think were possible. You are closer to your purpose. You’ve embraced your commitment to rediscovering the lightness in your own life. You’ve challenged yourself to do things that terrify you in spite of your anxiety. You’ve deepened your connections to your village. You’ve loved and laughed. You have been more unapologetically you this year than you’ve ever been. You work everyday on loving who you are right now. Here’s to another year of growth, love and self discovery.

The Blueprint || Worn

In the last year I’ve shifted most of wardrobe from brand new/fast fashion to thrifted and second hand clothing. I’d like to say that it was completely intentional. However, it was much more of a subtle and subconscious thing driven mostly by my desire to have clothes that fit a heavier me without spending too much money. I keep promising myself that I will shed the weight- and that’s an entirely different and upcoming post.

Thrifting satisfies that need for immediate gratification but it’s also very hit or miss. A few weeks ago, my friend, Jessy introduced me to ThredUp. I’d browsed the site before but was seriously overwhelmed and not really sure how it worked. Seeing all of her amazing fashion finds made me determined to figure it out!

My husband and I have birthdays at the end of the month which means at least one proper grownup night out. I used to buy myself a pretty dress every year for my birthday but I haven’t done that since before I turned 40. Seriously, I can’t believe how long it’s been since I treated myself to a “pretty, possibly impractical, serving no other purpose than it makes me insanely happy” dress! Time to fix that. So, I searched ThredUp for a birthday dress and I ended up buying 6…for less than $100!!

This didn’t make the cut for our birthday night out but it’s perfect for a casual look. I suspect I’ll dress up at some point with heels for a night out and boots for the fall. Today I paired it with my wedge high tops and arm full of bracelets to channel my inner Rainbow Johnson. Tracee Ellis Ross is one of my style icons as is her character, Rainbow, on Black-ish. I’m beyond thrilled I spotted this dress (new with tags!) and took a chance on it!

If you’d like to try ThredUp, this code will get you $10 off http://www.thredup.com/r/PYE4M9 This is a referral code. I will be compensated if you decide to use it.

Worn|| Ordinary

I’m a stay at home mom. This means that most of my days feel like a repeat of the day before. In the haze that is created by those mundane little things set to repeat, I sometimes feel like I’ve lost me or at least the me I used to be. I know I’ve said it here so often that you’re tired of hearing it but part of my journey this year is figuring out exactly who am i am in this moment and learning to love her. And celebrate her.

In the last week or so, I’ve really been looking at lot of old images from pinterest and some of my old fashion magazines- remember them- thinking about style in general and my style specifically. I still haven’t figured out exactly what my style is anymore but this outfit has some small details that I’m always drawn to. Embroidery always makes my heart skip a beat and yellow is my forever favorite. The peep-toe heels with an ankle strap are old fashioned in the best possible way. Nothing here is new. This JCrew top and Kenzie shoes are probably 9 years old. I thrifted these jeans a year ago and while I loved the relaxed fit and the wash they were way too long to cuff. So yesterday, I hacked them off to the perfect ankle grazing length and distressed them. I'm kind of obsessed with them. This entire look made me happy as I went about my absolutely ordinary day. And sometimes, that’s all you need.

This is the face I make when I’m trying to explain to my 5 year old why I’m taking photos of myself and not him! Ha!!

Worn|| But Fashion

Where my America’s Top Model fans?! Tyra, Ms. Jay and Mr. Jay snatched our collective edges in the early 2000s. And thanks to Al Gore’s internet, those first groundbreaking seasons are GIFS that keep giving!

The kiss of death was for the panel to declare the hopefuls “too catalog” or, Ana Wintour forbid, too commercial! One of my favorite scenes was for a swimsuit shoot. Tyra explains to the young wannabe that she has crossed a line into bad taste. They are models not centerfolds, damnit! It can be “ho but F A S H I O N”. That friends was not only epic television, it serves as my own little style mantra when getting dressed.

So when I decided to wear this cute little thrifted shirtdress instead of wearing Chucks and the cardigan I planned to wear, I thought “suburban housewife BUT FASHION!” I’m not sure if having a tiny trio of sartorial saints whisper in my ear is indicative of larger issues at play, but I’m fairly pleased with the results!

Jacket|| Forever 21

Shirtdress||(Old Navy) Thrifted

Sneakers||(Aldo) Thrifted

Belt|| Target

Worn || Game On

As of late, I’ve been really unsure of my style. Questioning what I like or whether I have any style at all. My mid 40’s has been a trippy time, my friends.

A lot of that uncertainty is tied to how I feel about my looks and body. And if I’m being 100 (as the kids say), most of the time it’s difficult for me to quiet that inner voice that screams about the weight I’ve gained in the last five years that refuses to budge, upper arms that never go uncovered, hips and thighs that are too wide and too thick, the double chin that I can’t contour away and on and on and on.

While I’m working on loving who I am right now. In this moment, In this body. I’ve tasked myself ridding my closet of anything that doesn’t make feel good when I put it on. As our favorite, new chaos coordinator, Marie Kondo would say, “does it spark joy?”

This simple look of things I’ve had for years and a new thrifted t-shirt did indeed spark a little bit of joy.

Have started Kondo-ing your wardrobe? Are you finding any old favorites or forgotten gems?

{worn} Snow Leopard

Yesterday it was almost 60 degrees. Today it’s not quite 40. So I guess we’re going to do this long gray January thing! Sigh.

Lately, I’ve been craving all of the neutrals. And because I’m a maximalist at heart I pile them on with reckless abandon! There is nothing particularly extraordinary about this outfit. And, during the cold months jeans, a cute sweater and boots-and all of its variations-become my uniform. But, the thing I love most about this look in particular is that it’s the perfect example of mom style on a budget.

The boots are the only relatively expensive thing I’m wearing. They were $120 and are at least 5 years old. I’m fairly certain these were a pre Rowan purchase so that would put them at closer to 6! The chunky and relatively low heel make them manageable for wearing when I’m out with him. At this point the cost per wear is down to a few cents! The cardigan and the jeans were thrifted and totaled $10. I scored the blouse on the Tj Maxx clearance rack for about $6 and the scarf was left behind by one of my daughters when they moved out so it was F R E E!!

Mom-ing is hard! I’m certainly not going to tell any one of us how we should or shouldn’t dress on any given day. My kid is almost 5 and there are still days when managing a shower requires a plan as detailed as a scene in Mission:Impossible. We struggle with taking time for ourselves or spending money on ourselves. This year I’m really focusing on putting together a closet that not only makes me feel good when I can grab a few minutes for myself but is also priced so that when the inevitable peanut butter fingerprints end up on my top I’m not too freaked out about it!

Do you have a winter “uniform”? How has motherhood changed the way you approach getting dressed?

The Girl With The Glasses

Earlier in the year I went to have an eye exam. I was expecting to finally get the news that is another harbinger of middle age…bi-focals. Color me shocked that I was able to hold that one off!

Anyway, a few weeks ago I finally got my act together and ordered my new glasses. Since I discovered I could get stylish and affordable glasses online I cannot remember the last pair I purchased from a regular retailer. Zenni is bae! I’ve flirted with a few other websites but I always end up back where I started. I ordered 3 pair. A new pair of sunnies, a pair to wear around the house, and a new every day pair. Three pair of prescription glasses and shipping was a whopping $75! I couldn’t be happier.

Worn{feeling fall}

Fall has finally arrived and I am here for it! Yaaasssss! Give me pumpkin spice! Give me scarves! Give me boots!! We’ve had temps in the 80s until last week! But, you know….global warming is totes not a thing y’all! ::insert your favorite eye roll gif here!::

Anyway, I’m deeply in love with jewel tones right now. So this combination of red, mustard, orange and teal is perfection. These sneakers tho! I’ve been contemplating a pair of high top wedge kicks for a while. They were on trend a few years ago. For some reason I couldn’t currently get them off my mind. Comfortable and a little bit of edge! Why did I pass on them before?! I had a pair sitting in my Amazon cart. A few weeks ago I decided to pop in Goodwill because I had some time to kill before I needed to pick Rowan up from school. These were the first thing I saw when I walked in the door! And, they were $4. It was meant to be!

Has the weather cooled off in your neck of the woods? Are you ready for all the fall things?

Worn{fancy dress day}

Wearing a dress always looks more put together than it feels. Essentially when I don't want to deal with waistbands, ironing, or finding two things that look good together, I'll wear a dress! Sometimes it turns a regular day into fancy dress day and I feel like a proper adult!  I'm in the process of going thru my closet with a more critical eye because the amount of STUFF is overwhelming me at this point! But, that deserves it's own post. This dress is one of the things that will definitely be staying. I can't think of one item of clothing I've purchased lately that feels more like me than this dress! 

worn{carnaby street}

For whatever reason, these pants give me a very London 1960s vibe. Perhaps it's the groovy pattern or the union jack color palette. Whatever the reason, they are one of those things I've pulled out of the donate pile several times, unable to let them go. 

We've also reached the stage of summer where it is unbearably hot! I don't want to deal with the flat iron so the big hair is back! And I can't go out naked so I wear whatever I want!

For some reason, I've also been itching for a big change! I think it probably has a lot to do with my rapidly approaching birthday and the heat. It's a scientific fact that those two things have been known to make a girl do the unexpected! I guess you'll just have to stick around and see exactly what that means.